Birth date: Dec 4, 1948 Death date: Mar 24, 2026
Laura Valentine, 77, of Charlotte, NC, died after mainlining coke and Four Loko in preparation for a street fight. Born in New Jersey, she moved to Pittsburgh, PA after her marriage to Lee Valentine and reared seven children there Read Obituary
Laura was a fierce protector of her children and their welfare was always her number one priority. She was an avid reader and we would hear a synopsis of her readings on our daily walks around the neighborhood. Laura was not afraid to tackle difficult tasks like clearing off ice from the box gutters of her three-story Victorian home. After she moved to North Carolina we lost touch but we often think about her. Eternal Memory - Vjicnaja jej pamjat.
The time she showed up in a Tardis (I have not a clue how she got her hands on one) (maybe she was a Time Lord in disguise), took me to the lesser Magellanic Cloud and dropped me a middle of a war between Andorians and the Borg (I have not a clue how either one of them got to another galaxy). I have not a clue what I was expected to do there.
Then Cthulhu showed up out of nowhere and we all decided to flee, including Laura who came back with the Tardis. She pointed a sonic screwdriver at Cthulhu who promptly disappeared, obviously decided not to tangle (pun intended) with someone who might be a Time Lord. He/she/it/they/ze probably went back to napping as all good elder gods should really be doing.
I was delivered back to my abnormal life on earth and to this day have not one idea why I was taken there, but it was a hell of a lot of fun.
Turn the TV down!
I was visiting Laura after college and she showed me an old picture of myself from the 90's.
i said look at my stupid haircut and silly clothes. She responded;
“Don’t worry — no one will remember, and that’s the most attractive you’ll ever be.”
I was going to say it was Laura's sense of humor that I remember the most. Based on this obituary it's clear that humor is a genetic trait.
Laura was more than my cousin, she was my childhood friend. She was my safe place and I'm forever grateful to her.
As adults, we had an email relationship. I remember her as our family historian.
My condolences to all who loved her.
I have too many memories to post here but I will remember her laugh always (although her fondness for the film "Yellowbeard" still mystifies). As a teenager she was a safe harbor for me and I enjoyed many weekends in Philadelphia. She taught me a lot about men and relationships (as an older sister should) taught me to crochet, shared her love of books, took me to the zoo to watch the lion feeding, and spent many happy hours in the Franklin Institute. I miss her already.
Best obituary I ever read. Much love and healing to the family. I will treasure the blanket she made for me. Cousin Marcella Paraskevas-Ramirez
