Birth date: Dec 19, 1963 Death date: Dec 3, 2022
Martha Ann Williams, affectionately known as Tina was born on December 19, 1963 to Cinclair and Annie Whitley. A native of Charlotte, NC she spent her youth cheering, serving in church and making lasting memories with her six sibl Read Obituary
Part 1:
It’s a day after the celebration of one of the greatest gifts God could have given us, the ethereal beautify (in all her form – physical, personality and spirt) of Mama Tina. For a week I have been thinking through how to highlight who Mama Tina was and what she has meant to me and my family. I am posting this on today hoping to exemplify that support for this incredible family won’t stop simply because the formal celebration is over. But that shoulders will be here to lean on to carry you through what will seem like an almost impossible ongoing journey without the physical presences of Mama Tina, arms will be open to hug you when times seem bleak, and chests will be available to rest on when tears suddenly appear from both joyous and somber memories that engulf your entire body almost to the point of weakness. We WILL be here for you through it all.
I’m Shanell’s brother-in-law. And while I’ve deeply known my brother (Lawrence, her husband) all my life and Shanell for over 24 years, I unfortunately didn’t spend as much time cultivating a deeper relationship with Mama Tina as I would have liked. But when I did come around she, and her husband Darnell, was always welcoming and made me feel like I hadn’t missed a beat. Therefore, the best way I could think about describing Mama Tina and what she meant to me and my family is through sports. And although I know my guy Darnell would probably appreciate me going the football route [ especially with his Cowboys doing somewhat ok this year ;) ], I’m choosing to go a different route. If you’re familiar with the game of organized basketball, then you might easily characterize the mother of a family as:
(1) The ‘Point Guard’ on the team. The one that shows great focus and composure throughout game play and has a distinct command over the flow and pace of the game.
Or (2) as the ‘Shooting Guard’ for which the offense is frequently predicated around who typically brings energy to her teammates which can influence the game play.
Or (3) the ‘Power Forward’ who is often seen as the “protector” of the team in that she attempts to quickly remove obstacles that might stall or hinder the teams’ ability to win games, but also knows when to provide the assist(ance) or drive the ball all the way to the basket to score points.
Or (4) the ‘Center’ who has impeccable court vision to see where teammates and opponents are on the floor to make the best decision with the ball and create the greatest opportunities to score points to win the game.
Or (5) the ‘Small Forward’ who is the ‘glue’ that brings together the talents and skills of the front- court positions (Point Guard and Shooting Guard) and the back-court positions (Power Forward and Center) with her unique ability to analyze the game situation and adapt to the changing demands of the game.
Or, even moreso, you might compare many mothers in a family to the Head Coach of the team. The undisputed leader that directs, motivates, inspires, and grows team members who is also responsible for orchestrating and executing team objectives. While ALL of these are unequivocally TRUE for Mama Tina, I would assert that she played an even more unassuming, yet PIVOTAL role as the mother of her family, a model for my family, and a friend to all.
So, like basketball, I would say she was the ‘Sixth Man’ who is widely regarded as arguably the most valuable person on the team. The ‘Sixth Man’ is responsible for knowing ALL the positions on the court, being capable of complementing each position, and eager to support the team in any capacity to help win games. Her flexibility on the court is invaluable because it creates options for different ways a play can evolve to score points. Additionally, she provides sufficient support on both offence and defense to sustain the team’s efforts throughout the game.
Part 2:
In this respect, the “Court/Arena” was primarily her immediate household but also everywhere those she considered family and close friends were, the “Game” was the daily support, needs, and wants of her family and friends, and the “Plays” were the ideas, strategies and tools that she developed, utilized and implemented to address all the components of ‘the Game’.
My times with Mama Tina were funny, light-hearted, yet unforgettable. Through our conversations, I learned that in the midst of family emergencies and personal challenges [ everything ranging from the struggles with her girls hair on some days in getting them prepared for school, to taking and making special breakfast requests (even outside of normal breakfast hours), to the demands of organizing birthday parties, to the challenges of moving to a new home, to the hopes of periodic help with various responsibilities around the house from the loving hubby, and to the wishes of a full night’s rest at times :) ], Mama Tina demonstrated her dynamic capability to juggle all of these while still executing on her duties at work and carving out quality time for friends. I had so much respect for her because she truly empathized with me since I was having similar challenges with a then vivacious 2-year-old daughter (Emory), a loving wife, and haven moved to multiple cities. I was always mesmerized at how she managed to bring all of these aspects of her life together so harmoniously and admired that she was “authentically her” in the process and her approach to accomplish all of these. She had her own unique methods, means, and mode about getting things done that was both “Sweet & Spicy”. She could gracefully ask for things to happen, will things to happen, or demand things happen, LOL. Either way, whatever needed to get done…did!
My last time with Mama Tina was at their house to celebrate Easter. And although Darnell we know your deep frying is one of gladiator status, unfortunately Mama’s cooking is what stole the show. I know this because Mama Tina became known to Emory as the “sweet mommy-sweet food-mommy” alllllll the way on our drive back home, LOL. But moreso what I remember from that moment in being there that day was witnessing how you all had adjusted your own lives to accommodate my brother, Shanell, and your 4 grandkids while they were transitioning to a new place themselves, and also caring for my brother after his surgery. Doing this for the amount of time that you did requires an UNBELIEVABLE amount of patience, but an even bigger heart. And that is something that I appreciated seeing and will never forget because it illustrated how my family and I want to be to others and we feel lucky to have had such a close example for us to model.
Mama Tina, there are not enough words in the human language to fully describe who you were to me and what you meant to this world. Looking at your kids and grandkids, it’s obvious you went well above and beyond to be a super-mom and super-grandmother. You eliminated barriers that could have potentially limited their success. You made yourself available and equipped them with the knowledge and tools (and sometimes extra sweets and toys) they would need to surmount the obstacles you knew they would face throughout life. And it was your genuine desire to love everyone you met, willingness to put in extra effort both inside and outside your core home, intentionality in seeing things through, mindset that all things work for good, spirited nature, and uncompromising sense of selflessness all sprinkled with well known ‘spiciness’ that made you YOU, and illustrated your unquestionable ability to breakdown, succeed, and win at ‘the Game’.
You will truly be missed but your presence will always be felt today, tomorrow, and beyond. We’ll keep our memory of you going forever so our kids and their kids will know TeeTee and how sweet, cheerful, and ‘spicy’ she was.
Love You!
Gary, Niobra & Emory
Tina was a sister to me. We were more than in-laws. We shared our beautiful grandchildren who she loved so much ! I still can't believe she's gone. I love and miss her so much, but I know she's with the Lord. Rest in peace Tina ! Love always, Cleo !
I want to tell you about a time when Tina ask me to meet her in our usual spot which was in the middle of the street. She ask if I would walk to the store with her just in case the dog that never lets you pass comes out. She wanted me to run so the dog would chase me because she wanted to make sure she could get to the neighborhood store to get her cigarettes. Of course me being me I agreed and sure enough here came that dog and I started running for my life and when I looked back at the corner she was standing there smiling giving me a thumbs up. All I could do was just keep running. I would have done anything for my friend. I miss her sooo much. Not being able to hear her anymore is just really hard. My condolences go out to Darnell and the entire family. I feel your pain. This one hurts.....Netta
Love You Auntie
There are no words for the legacy Tina McNeely has left on your family & friends. Her shinning personality will live on in your hearts. Sending healing prayers for you all. On behalf of the Shassidy’s work family we send our sincerest condolences.
I have known Tina for a long time, and she did speak her mind. She always had a beautiful smile on her face. I loved how she could have her hair in that one ponytail and still look beautiful. I remember one time at our Christmas party, my sister Netta and I were welcoming the guests and talking to Tina. Then, Tina saw one guest come down the hallway and out of no where she said, "What is she doing here? I don't like her." All we could do was look in shock. I still laugh about that today. I have other wonderful memories of my friend. I will miss her. May she RIP. My prayers and condolences for the family. I love u all! Debra
As a child growing up with Auntie Tina she would always speak her mind and told us to speak ours. I was tge one to tell granny everything so she told me to take my black you what and sut down. I told that. I just want the family to know that she is and will be missed and Always Loved.
